Being In Charge |
Being Out There |
Two Types |
Starting Out |
Topsy Turvy |
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TWO TYPES -
Well, I just got back from dinner with Josh. I had a real nice time. I think he did also. We went to Pizzarena, which is in West Nyack. I didn't feel like too much of a jerk tonight.
That's a real change for me. This head injury of mine has left me with virtually no self-esteem. I feel like a rotten person a lot of the time, like I have made a fool of myself and that people will not want to be around me.
This may not be accurate at all and probably isn't. This is what I live with, though. Some burden, huh? Most head injured people I know have one or the other ...disability I mean.
You see the way I look at it there are two types of disabilities when it comes to people who have suffered a head injury: COGNITIVE (thinking skills and reasoning), and then there is the PHYSICAL (physical condition.)
Most HI (I'll use this to mean head injured) people have either a cognitive or a physical disability. It's a tough life I'm sure. For Josh, Rich, Andrew and all the other HI people I know. But I have both and I'm pissed.
I am an intelligent person, but I have both physical (slurred speech, a limp, and a tremor) and cognitive (bad short term memory and bad organization) disabilities. This is a very difficult situation for me to handle. Why ME!?
Being as intelligent as I think I am, I am able to live my life pretty happily. I am strong willed and I won't let this situation get the best of me. I am a survivor and I will be successful in this life of mine.
I was sixteen years old when this situation took hold of my life. Now I am thirty-one and I have lived an incredible life so far. I am so proud of myself (proud and have just begun.)
OH, MY GOD! I just saw the end of the Colorado vs. Michigan football game. In the last seconds, Colorado threw a Hail Mary pass and won the game. What a great ending. I will never be in a great ending like I have just experienced. Maybe I never would have been, ...accident or not. I am sorry, I just had to type that.
I felt I needed to let you know how cheated I feel, being like I am. As of late there have been many situations that have made me see how forever my condition is. I get down, and must keep reminding myself that it is all a process. Life is like that; we have our ups, and our downs. And it is constantly changing.